How come no one thought of this before? Will Smith as Batman! The first black Batman! Chris Rock can be Robin. Jada can be Catgirl. Epic cast for an action film for the ages.
Yes, of course, the Batman of the 1940s was a pale white guy. What else is new? And who cares? Our Nation was founded by racist Europeans, who didn't know better. It took a lot of science-based effort to get us where we are now living in a diverse promised land where black, brown, and liberal are the new white.
We can''t blame the Founding Fathers for their sins. They were primates with even less free will. They were victims of their times like we are now victims of our days. They knew what they knew and what they knew they did not, but did not know what they didn't know. Out of all that bloody ignorance that we call time, we built the greatest Nation on Earth, a beacon of liberty and justice for all. And now all now means all. Not only white men with fake wigs and bad teeth, but everyone up and down the economic cliff.
When thinking about the Founding Fathers, it is easy to feel sorrow and sadness for them. They lived and died in terrible times. They were very primitive souls. Yes, the Founding Fathers were primitive and lived miserable lives without any of the amazing technological advances that we take for granted these days. It has taken us well over 200 years to build on the past, constructing a lovely present from which we can build an even better future for everyone. Much credit and due respect to the Founding Fathers for kick starting this amazing liberty project that we proudly call the United States of America. May Mx God bless America.
Oh well. Let's get back to where we began. Will Smith would be fantastic as the first black Batman. We already had a fine black President in Barrack Obama. When is that movie coming out? Who will play the man? Anyways, that is another story for another post. This one is about Will The Fresh Slapper Prince Smith as the first black Batman. The time for a black Batman is now.
Will Smith will not be the typical Batman. By the time we get to the set he will be in his late 50s. The problem (i.e. opportunity) is that Will Smith is already 53 years old, and going through a slapping epic mid-life crisis. That is quite the opportunity because we can tailor the first black Batman film also to a medicinal marijuana smoking Bruce Wayne in his 50s battling a mid life crisis. Jada can play the wife, Batgirl, who is literally losing her hair due to the stress of living with the bat and the offspring. Chris Rock can play Robin. It would be great to have Trump play the Penguin, but he is too tall for the role and too busy playing victim/messiah for the re-election.
In the opening scenes of the Will Smith's black Batman movie, he will be joyriding the batmobile out in the country blasting the bass listening to Dr. Dre and Snoop Dog when he is pull over by a cop. The cop calls for backup assuming that a black driver stole or carjacked the fancy hot wheels. An argument ensues, and the cop is about to choke Bruce Wayne to death when Will wakes up shaken up by the nightmare. There he is again alone in his master room, gloomy dark depressed as usual. Robin, who's played by Chris Rock, facetimes him to ask whether or not he's coming to the show tonight. Robin is now the hottest standup comedian in all of Gotham, and is preparing for yet another sold out event.
Gotham City is crazy as usual. There is broad discontent with the high prices and high crime rates after the government went crazy printing gotham money to combat a recent pandemic. The Penguin's party is running for re-election. Bruce cannot understand how the Penguin became such a successful politician mesmerizing so many followers. He understands that people are in pain and want an easy fix. Lies and alternative facts are less painful than the opportunistic depictions of truth and reality sold by clever politicians to the masses. Gotham villains have become more sophisticated with Chinese AI technology and Russian disinformation.
Wayne Inc. stocks have been down significantly in recent years. The company has been investing heavily in i-Robots as the new product line anchor. A recent pandemic slowed down production, and global supply chain disruptions worsened by war in Eastern Europe has delayed sales. When hackers get control of manufacturing plants to send the robots to wreak havoc in Gotham, the black Batman in his mid 50s needs to step in to save the city. Robin and Batgirl were hesitant to join the fight feeling that they were too old for the same back hurting crap. They know it's an American movie that guarantees a happy ending so they enroll once again to save damn Gotham again.
Batman: Black Again -- Coming soon? What do you think?
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